Vulner+ability

Able and open

Defend yourself they said. Fists way up high and look your challenge in the eyes. It’s about the survival of the fittest.

Breath deep and get ready for what comes.

I know. I practiced martial arts for some years.

I remember one of our exercises was quite special. Stand with your back straight, belly tight, arms on the side. Take some punches from your classmates.

When you face an enemy you can’t get distracted by the pain of an eventual offense that comes through. 

By getting used to getting a punch once in a while you will become stronger. 

You have to remain focused.

No matter how many battles you lose. You can still win the war.

I think how that exercise positioned me. There vulnerable, arms open to receive the pain and get through it. 

I had to put my fear aside and be capable of showing my vulner+ability.

Complex, beautiful beings

It’s funny how I can be the softest person but enjoy martial arts too. Fine, I learned it mostly to defend myself, but I did enjoy a cool fight.

All these sides of ourselves… it’s interesting how we combine our polarities. 

For the longest time, I have tried being that strong in life. I have trained myself, almost in every possible area I could.

Be great. With others, with love, with art, with grades, with working out, with eating, with finances, with resting. 

Even with resting, I’ve worked hard to rest well. 

A hidden kind of strength

While reflecting on vulner+ability, I had to think of Luisa, that one character from the Madrigal family (Disney’s “Encanto” animation movie). 

She was the strongest, she could handle anything until everything that relied on her shoulders made her crumble and fall on her knees. 

We see her collapse because of trying to be strong all the time, we see her becoming happier when exposing her vulnerability and working through it. 

Discovering a new kind of strength. One that blooms together with vulnerability.

At the end, this is the vulnerability I aspire to, that I hope you can aspire to.

A natural ability

If you look at nature, there is a particular theme: the survival of the fittest.

But I would propose a part of the theory we normally might overlook. The stronger are also the ones who step into and fit both their strengths and their vulnerabilities. 

The ones who stand in balance. They know all of themselves so well that they create a great cocktail. 

It's the water, soft but persistent, that ends up eroding the rocks. It’s the patience, the softness of being brave and showing up every time it gets hard. 

Taking care of ourselves and coming back to the stage, keeping believing in a better day.

The age of vulner+able

We have seen during the pandemic how we finally allow ourselves a little more to drop our masks and show our most vulnerable side.

We don’t do it with just anyone, though, we’re still scared to show it at work. And I recognize not every situation is ideal to share our deepest darkest fears and thoughts…

But as long as we recognize that more and more, in ourselves, we will learn to be more tolerant of others. 

Even if it becomes a sort of silent mutual agreement.

We’re tired

I ask you: why are we curating ourselves so much? 

I choose to tell my story always in an honest way. And every time I might go home feeling a little scared that I opened too much, I ask myself: did you lie? 

No. I was being myself, vulner+able, and I allowed others to be themselves this way. And I like to believe that that leaves the world a better place. 

It has been in the moments I was mostly honest and showing how tired I was, even as if through a joke, in a lighter way, that I saw a light in the eyes of the people that were with me. 

People promptly entered the joke and added their own line of struggle and coping.

Let’s face it. We can identify as many different things, and stand on opposite sides sometimes, but we all have one common thing: we identify as tired. 

Tired of carrying too much and pretending all is well, at the top of our game, all the time.

To remember…

Through showing this hidden side we will become, together, more available, more vulner+able.

Still vulnerable but stronger.

I hope you can remember this the next time life asks you to be vulnerable, to show up with that side of you.

You have your strength there too, they’re holding hands. 

About this blog’s artwork

This artwork piece started from the three moments/characters separated as three different sketches. I couldn’t decide which one to choose to take into final art, and some fellow artists giving me feedback said they could maybe work as different moments of a process, learning how to deal with vulnerability.

From there I started working on it as a “tryptic” kind of piece, making everything communicate better with each other. I did this by giving the same treatment and sort of character design, keeping common elements in between them that help the viewer recognize the three as the same character…

By investing time in drawing for myself and connecting deeper with my art, I start seeing common elements appearing again and again, and my inner world giving them meaning and creating a bigger story, a story that goes throughout my journey, with Rasto.

I hope you enjoy and connect with it as much as I do.

Lastly…

Thank you for your time and read, feel free to share any constructive feedback or send any questions on topics you would like me to write/draw about :)

Stay safe and inspired,
Rita